Six years ago today we lost our baby boy, Buster. I felt the need to write something about it but wanted to make sure I didn't repeat myself, so I searched my blog history and found my original post that I wrote three days after Buster crossed over Rainbow Bridge. In that post, "For The Love of Buster," I said everything then that I was going to say today. I also found the next post I made about it, "Six Weeks Later," and re-read that one as well. After I read both of those posts I had the idea of what I was going to write today, so here it is.
I said in my original post that "all hurt heals," and it does - but only to a point. I don't hurt anywhere near as much as I used to, but the hole in my heart that was occupied by Buster is still there although it's nowhere near as big as it used to be. But it's still there, and I suspect that it always will be.
One of the reasons the hole isn't as big as it used to be is the Boston Terrier that we were waiting to pick up when I wrote "Six Weeks Later." Cage joined our family shortly after I wrote that post, and he's been a godsend. He's no Buster by any means - Buster was truly one of a kind - but he's quite the dog in his own right. He helped me get over my loss, helped me heal, and I love him just as much as I love Buster. He's also big, and I mean BIG. He's twice the size of a "normal" Boston Terrier and weighs 40 pounds. And you can bet that the first thing I taught him to do after housebreaking him was to go up and down stairs!
This is my "little man" Cage.
Harley got along with Cage right away, and I think he helped her heal as well. She really enjoyed having another dog to run around in the yard with, and she did that every day until she got older and couldn't run as well as she used to. She's 12 now, and is one of the loves of my life.
Here's our baby girl Harley standing next to Cage. Gives you a good idea of just how big Cage is since Harley is 22 pounds.
Three - or is it four? - years ago Gina showed me another picture of a dog she "just had to have," and just as with the picture of Cage I knew it right away. We had to have this dog, too, so Gina and a friend of hers drove all the way to Tennessee to pick him up from the rescue where he was and bring him home. He's a French Bulldog/Boston Terrier mix we named Mason, and he's a love bug first class! He loves nothing more than to sleep on my lap, and everywhere I go in the house he's right there. Cage is more than a little jealous about it, but when it comes to sleeping on my lap he has a shorter attention span than Mason, who could stay there all day and all night.
And this is Mason.
How can anyone resist that face?
While Cage played a key role in helping me heal after Buster's passing, I have to say that all three of our babies play a part in it. Healing is, after all, an ongoing process which in some cases never ends. I still kiss Buster's picture every night before I go to bed as I have done since he passed, and every time I leave the house I always ask Buster to watch over my babies while I'm gone. I feel him with me in the house all the time, and I dare say that I've seen him a couple of times as well - just a dark blur of motion out of the corner of my eye, or maybe a shadow in the next room that was there one moment and gone the next. Call it what you will, but he's here and I know it.
And I'm okay with that.
I love you, Buster, and I miss you.
Deo Vindice
IHC
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