I heard something a very long time ago - as in 50+ years ago when I was in high school - that everyone in your life, male or female, fits into one of three basic categories. Those categories were Friends, Buddies, and Acquaintances, and when I asked what the differences between the categories were, what I was told made a hell of a lot of sense. Now that I'm 50+ years older, it makes more sense than ever, and life has proven it to be 100% true.
So now let me share with you these nuggets of wisdom that were shared with me so many years ago. I'll start at the bottom and work my way up.
Acquaintances are people that you merely know in passing. In high school it was someone that you knew from school and maybe was in one of your classes, and was someone that you'd say 'hi' to when you passed them in the hall between classes. Maybe you'd stop and talk for a minute, but most of the time the quick 'hi' was it. Other than that, they weren't a part of your life and you never spent any more time with them than the situation required.
Buddies are people that you know from either school or, if you're old enough, from work and are people that you get along with. These are the people that you socialize with, go to parties with, go drinking with, and generally have a good time with. These are people that you get along with and who get along with you, and you get to know each other on a personal level - but you're not really sure if you'd want them to marry into your family. Still, you get along well and have no problems other than the occasional drunken argument over which baseball team is better or who's going to the Super Bowl this year.
Friends are something completely different. Friends are on a whole different and a much higher level than buddies. Friends are someone in whom you have total and complete trust, someone that you would share your deepest, darkest secrets with and whom you trust to keep yours. Friends are the people that you can call at any hour of the day or night and tell them that you need them right fuckin' now, and the only thing they would say is "where are you and can you hang on until I get there?" There is no limit as to what a friend will do for you, and a true friend will even die for you. And if you're a true friend to them, you should be prepared to do the same.
Throughout my entire life, I don't think I've ever had more than four or five friends at the same time. I've had a few that I thought were my friends, but they later proved to be no more than buddies, with a lot of them falling all the way down to acquaintances. And some of them are even lower than that, as I wouldn't even look at them if I pass them on the street. And there's one or two of those that I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.
So ask yourself a couple of questions when you get the chance. Ask yourself where among these three categories do the people you know fit, and this includes family. You can be related to someone and still only be acquaintances or buddies, believe it or not. When you've decided who your friends are, ask yourself a second question.
Ask yourself if you are as good a friend to them as they are to you.
I hope the answer is yes. If not, you need to fix that right away.
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