If you had one wish to wish someone in Hell, who would it be? Yeah, I know, that's a pretty bleak, insensitive, harsh and hateful thing to think about this close to Christmas, but believe me I have my reasons. Reasons which will become apparent shortly, and once you hear what they are, I'm quite sure you'll agree.
So, back to the question: if you had one wish to wish someone in Hell, who would it be?
Fidel Castro? Nah, he's gonna be dead soon enough anyway, and he's finished being dangerous or harmful to anyone now that his brother's in control anyway.
Mahmood Ahmadinijad, The President of Iran? A definite member of the Top 3, to be sure, but not my #1 choice.
My former Regional Directory of Security for Macy*s East? Nah again; he's my #2 choice, but he's not first on my list.
So just who is #1 on my "Wish You In Hell" list? Simple - that would be the scum-sucking, lowlife, scab-picking, shit-eating, ass-licking, cocksucking, bottom-dwelling asshole who created the ThinkPoint virus, that's who.
Show of hands: how many of you know both understand and agree with me? Uh-huh, I thought so.
For those of you who don't know, the ThinkPoint virus is one of those cute little computer virus programs that infiltrates your computer through various ways and generates fake "popup" virus alerts. These phony alerts are cleverly crafted to appear genuine, even incorporating the Microsoft/Windows logo in the alert box. As soon as the alert box pops up and you foolishly click on it, you'll see another screen showing a phony "virus scan" of your computer which will invariably show as many as two dozen "virus infections." The program will then tell you to erase these "viruses" all you have to do is click on the "SCAN" button in the alert box, and all will be right with the computer world once again.
And if you're foolish enough to do this, that's when the real fun begins.
At that point a second phoney "alert" box will pop up, this one telling you that the "free" version of ThinkPoint can't fix the "virus infection," and it directs you to their web site where you can purchase the complete program that will remove the virus.
Sure, it'll remove the virus, all right - for a mere $99.00 they're remove the virus that they installed on your computer, that virus being the phony "virus alert" program you're seeing.
We had one of these viruses - not the ThinkPoint virus, but one similar - pop up on Gina's netbook last week, but that was an easy fix - a quick trip down System Restore Lane, and all is right with the world. Then, just to be on the safe side, a quick download of a totally ass-kicking and totally FREE anti-spyware program called Spybot, and I'm not worried about picking up that particular virus program again. I've used Spybot for more than six years, and absolutely love it. Aside from the fact that it's totally FREE, it's also an ass-kicking good anti-spyware program.
So when the ThinkPoint virus made its appearance on my desktop yesterday afternoon at 3PM, I wasn't worried. I figured all I had to do was take another stroll down System Restore Lane and I'd be golden again.
Were it that easy.
What I didn't know is that ThinkPoint is a much more insidious, much more complicated, and much more difficult to erase program than the one I encountered on the Netbook. This became apparent when I clicked on the START button at the bottom left corner of my computer, and discovered that the virus had re-written the program for that button. Instead of showing the programs on my computer like it's supposed to, which includes the ACCESORIES program in which the System Restore program lies, it showed me the contents of my DOCUMENTS file.
In other words, the asswipe who designed the program knew that it could be easily defeated by System Restore, so the cocksucker wrote the virus program so it prevents you from getting to it. Nice, huh? Personally, I'd like to pinch his head off and shit down his neck.
So now I'm stumped as to what to do, so I figure I'll just restart the computer and enter SAFE mode when it reboots. I have NOT clicked on any buttons for the virus program, so I'm still seeing that annoying little phony virus alert box, and it's really starting to piss me off. What happens when I click on the TURN COMPUTER OFF button next REALLY pisses me off.
What happens is nothing. Nada. Zilch. Another command re-write, courtesy of the asslicking designer of this virus program.
So now what? OK, if I cant' turn the computer off normally, I'll just turn off the power strip it's connected to and reboot that way. Should work, right?
Wrong. Seems the assfaced ball-licker thought of that, too, and when my computer rebooted it didn't start loading Windows. What it did in actuallity was nothing - nada, zilch, zip. I got the Dell Startup screen, and after that I got nothing. Not even any noise of computer components working coming from the tower, either.
So now what? Well, first I call Gina and tell her what's going on, then ask her to see if her boss's hubby - who is a computer genius - can fix it. She texts back in 5 minutes and says sure, he can fix it and all she has to do is bring it to work with her and he'll take care of it.
Excellent. So now what? In the mean time I have the Netbook, which is better than nothing. So to kill some time I go on the Netbook and do a BING.com search for this ThinkPoint virus, and I discover just how nefarious this thing really is. Not only does it redirect specific commands, it also blocks your Internet access to any site except - you guessed it - the ThinkPoint site where you can buy the "full program."
But here's the really scary part: it also acts as a keystroke recording program, which can then be used by the creators of the program to hack into your computer and steal your screen names, passwords, credit card account numbers, and everything else in your computer memory. In short, this program can be used to STEAL YOUR IDENTITY. The only saving grace for me is that I didn't click on the box directing me to the website for the "full program," so the required code wasn't downloaded onto my computer.
As I'm typing this - on the Netbook, of course - the desktop is with Gina's boss's hubby, and he's trying to fix it. Right now it's not looking good, because it appears that another cute little feature that the cocksucking, inbred, shit-eating little asshole who designed this program put in it was a feature that fries your hard drive and/or your motherboard if you do what I did and power down to reboot and access the SAFE mode at startup. So now it looks like I may be in the market for a new computer, which is just what I need right in the middle of the holiday season when money is already tight.
In the mean time, I'm sitting here thinking about how much I'd like to have the designer of that program standing in front of me, and me standing there with either a pair of pliers or a very long, very sharp knife in my hand.
Or both. I have two hands, you know.
IHC
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