Of "Posers," "RUBS," and "Real Bikers"

I hate labels.

I hate labels almost as much as the narrow-minded, immature, and irrational logic that gives birth to them. I don’t necessarily hate the people who use labels, mind you – some of them are good folks who just have a different opinion than mine – but I absolutely abhor labels.

I know I’m gonna piss some people off with this, but ya know what? I don’t care. It’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it, and if you don’t like it, then stop reading my blog. So having said that….

Take, for example, the biker-related labels of “poser,” “RUB,” and “real biker.” Most of the time the first two are used as a derogatory term applied by members of the last term when describing someone who rides a bike and doesn’t fit their self-styled idea of just what a “real biker” should be.

Silly, isn’t it? I think so.

For clarity’s sake, “RUB” stands for Rich Urban Biker. This term is most often used by “real bikers” to describe people who are “rich” (which means they have more money than the “real biker” does), buy a bike, and ride it only on weekends. Never mind the fact that maybe the so-called “RUB” has a full-time job which prohibits him/her from riding anytime other than on a weekend; that line of thought involves common sense and logic, and that just doesn’t work here.

And I won’t even try to define “poser.” The variations of that term are so broad and numerous as to defy description. But some of the examples that I’ve heard are as follows:

1) If you wear a lot – or ANY – clothing with “Harley-Davidson” written on it, you’re a poser.
2) If you wear a leather vest that doesn’t have the three-piece club colors of a recognized motorcycle club on it, you’re a poser.
3) If you ride a metric bike – a Japanese bike – you’re a poser.
4) If you buy a bike and ride it only on weekends or around town, then you’re a poser.
5) If you’re just not considered to be a “real biker,” then you’re a poser.

Which leads us to the obvious question: Just what is a “real biker?”

Well, that all depends on who you’re talking to. It seems that the definition of “real biker” is even more varied than that of “poser.” I’ve been told that anyone who doesn’t work on their own bike rather than take it to the dealership for work isn’t a “real biker.” I’ve also been told that anyone who rides anything other than an American bike isn’t a “real biker.” Nor is anyone who rides anything other than a Harley-Davidson, or anyone who rides a Sportster (which is a Harley-Davidson, by the way), or anyone who rides a bike made after 1975, or anyone who rides a bike with an electric starter, or anyone who doesn’t ride a “rigid” bike (a bike with no shocks on the back wheel), or anyone who rides a bike with a windshield, or anyone who doesn’t ride a bike with a “jockey shift,” or anyone who doesn’t have ape hanger handlebars on their bike, or anyone who isn’t a member of a three-piece patch club, or anyone who waves to other bikers on the highway…..

See what I mean?

I always thought that the “biker” attitude involved being an individual, a free spirit doing his own thing on his bike, free from labels and rules and all of the other bullshit that sometimes comes with life in a civilized, organized society. I’ve always thought that “bikers” didn’t like having labels slapped on them just because they were different, and always respected the opinions of others because theirs were so often criticized by society. They had been so harshly judged by that society that they always made it a point not to judge others.

So why, then, are so many self-styled and self-described “real bikers” judging people and slapping labels on others? Could it be that these people are not “real bikers” at all?

What do I consider a “biker?” Simple: if you own a motorcycle and you ride it, you’re a biker. Period. (And no, scooters and mopeds are not motorcycles. Sorry.)

So what do I consider a “real biker?” Well, I’m not really sure there is such a thing. See, if I try to define what a “real” biker is, then I’m going to leave someone out in the cold and will place myself squarely in the middle of the group of folks I’ve spent the last few lines talking about. And I don’t want to do that. So I’ll just say that I believe anyone who owns a motorcycle and rides it – even if it is only on weekends or only around town – is a biker and leave it at that.

At the end of the movie “Wild Hogs,” there’s a scene that fits quite nicely with what I’m trying to say here. The four main characters in the movie – four urbanites who ride bikes as a hobby, call themselves the “Wild Hogs,” and take a cross-country road trip – have just finished getting their asses kicked by the members of a local motorcycle club called the “Del Fuegos.” They pick themselves up off the ground and square off to the club again, ready for more and not ready to quit. The leader of the club says, “You’re kidding me, right?” Just about that time another biker rolls up, brilliantly cast with Peter Fonda in the role. This biker, who turns out to be the father of the club leader, asks what’s going on and is told that “these posers” blew up their bar (which they did, but by accident). The old biker looks at the four “Wild Hogs,” looks back at the numerous members of the club surrounding them, and says, “These four guys stood up to all of you, and you call them “posers?”

Guess it's all in the eye of the beholder, huh?

IHC