Yes, My Walls are Going Up

 If you've been paying attention to my Facebook posts lately - and I know some of you have for reasons that are less than honorable - then you will have noticed that there's been a pretty significant change in my attitude as of late.  I'm MUCH more defensive about things, I'm not as trusting as I used to be, and I'm MUCH more suspicious.  In short, my walls are going up, and they're going up high.

And I don't like it.  I don't like the changes that have taken place in me, but they've been forced upon me and have taken place because I have no other choice.  

You see, over the past month I've had some people turn on me that I thought I could trust, that I thought were my brothers, and that I thought were my friends.  Sadly, they have proven to me that they are none of the above - and that has caused me to wonder if they ever were.  These people have profoundly shaken my faith in an organization that I dearly love, and what's worse is they have shaken my faith in myself - or they did.  While my faith in the organization is still shaken and will remain as such until the situation which I find myself embroiled in is finally settled, I have renewed my faith in myself.  And one of the ways I accomplished that was to put up some walls that I never had to put up before, along with removing some people out of my life that have shown me they are no longer worthy of a seat at my table.

Anyone who knows me - who TRULY knows me - knows that I am a fiercely loyal and utterly reliable friend, no holds barred.  I'm the guy that you can call at 2AM and say, "Hey, man, I'm in trouble and I need you here right now," and the ONLY questions I will ask are "Where are you?" and "Can you hold out until I get there?"  I won't ask why, I won't ask what happened, I'll just get up, get dressed, get in my car and fuckin' GET THERE.

Those of you who are reading this and think otherwise think that way because you've never taken the time to get to know me.  To steal a line from a TV show, you were never curious - you just judged instead of being curious and asking questions.  And that is YOUR loss, as my true friends will tell you.

If it sounds like I'm being overly cryptic about all this, I'm doing that for a reason.  The situation that brought all this about is still going on, and I have no idea when it will be resolved as the resolution is out of my control.  But rest assured that once the situation is resolved, regardless of the resolution I absolutely will post the details of the situation in its entirety.  

And when I do it's going to make some people look pretty bad, but that too is out of my control.

Stay tuned.

Deo Vindice

IHC