Games I Won't Play: Service Bashing

 

There are a couple of games people love to play that I refuse to take part in, and service bashing is one of them.  For those of you who don't get what I'm talking about, 'service bashing' is when members of the different branches of the Armed Forces stand around and make fun of the other services, always proclaiming that their service is 'the best.'

Yes, I know it's all done in the name of 'fun' and is supposed to be humorous, but it doesn't sit that way with me.  So whenever the service bashing starts, I either keep my mouth shut until it's over or I just turn and walk away.  On very rare occasions I'll stop the service bashing session with one reply that no one can respond to, but those occasions are VERY rare.

I guess the reason I hate this whole 'good-natured' service bashing as much as I do is that it always seems like the one service everyone wants to bash the worst is the Air Force, and after devoting 23 years of my life to that particular service, no, I don't respond to that shit well at all.

While there are those who will say that my reaction is childish, my retort is that service bashing in itself is childish, and by not participating in it I'm proving that I'm the only adult in the room. 

I'm like this is for two reasons, the first of which is I understand the different missions of each of the services, and realize that their training is tailored around completing that mission.  For example, the main mission of the Army and the Marines is ground combat, so their training is tailored for that mission.  That means their training is more physically demanding that those of the other services, and for good reason - someone who is not in top physical condition won't last long on the battlefield.   If you were a member of one of those two services, then my hat's off to you because you have a very hard job indeed, and I understand what you had to go through.  The Navy and the Air Force have completely different missions which don't require as high a degree of physical fitness as the Army and Marines, so of course their training isn't going to be as physically demanding.  

The second reason is that I have the utmost respect for EVERYONE who served in the active forces regardless of the branch.  (Don't get me started on the Reserves or especially the National Guard.)  To me, standing around talking shit about another person's branch of service is disrespectful, and I refuse to participate in that kind of crap.  If it bothers me when people talk shit about the other services then there's a chance it bothers someone else as well, only they won't speak up because they don't want to make waves or be ostracized for it.  So I refuse to participate.

Yeah, I take my military service very seriously, and if anyone can't handle that then that's a 'you' problem and not a 'me' problem.   To quote my childhood cartoon hero Popeye, "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam."  Take it or leave it.

Oh, and that retort I sometimes use to stop the service bashing?  I simply ask the group if they know why people join the Air Force, and when they say no, my reply is "Because we scored high enough on the ASVAB to have a choice."

Conversation over. 

 

Deo Vindice
IHC 

 

 

Looks Aren't Everything

 

Especially when it comes to motorcycles.  A motorcycle can visually be absolutely stunning and at the same time ride like a brick.  And the "Captain America" motorcycle from "Easy Rider" is a good example of this.

If any of you have been following either my blog or my Facebook posts for any length of time, you'll know that in my personal opinion "Easy Rider" is the second worst motorcycle movie ever made.  It's second to a movie called "The Born Losers" which was so stupid as to nearly defy description.  The only good thing about it was that it introduced the character of Billy Jack to the world, but other than that, the movie was a total waste.

But I digress.

As for "Easy Rider," the best things about the movie were the soundtrack and the motorcycles.  The rest of the movie was pure crap.  (Again, my opinion.)  The movie came out in 1969 so the rock and roll of that era plays a prominent and important role in the movie.

But the best thing about the move were the  bikes, specifically Peter Fonda's bike which is called the "Captain America" bike because of the star spangled paint job on the tank.  It's an absolutely beautiful bike, a classic 1960's chopper with the raked front end, no front fender, great big tall sissy bar, and lots of chrome.  A classic and simply beautiful bike in every way.

And according to Peter Fonda, it was a beast to ride.  In an interview he gave right after the movie came out, he said that the next day after the first full day of filming where they did nothing but film scenes with him and Dennis Hopper riding their bikes,  he was so sore he could hardly move.  He said it was "the worst riding bike I've ever been on," and that says something.

If you know anything at all about motorcycles, one look at the bike and you'll see why Fonda said what he did.  But I'm guessing most of you don't know what I'm talking about, so let's go over the reasons why the "Captain America" bike rode so bad.

First, there's the rake and length of the front forks.  For those of you that don't know, the 'rake' is the angle of the front forks measured from the upright of the frame, and it's determined by the length of the front forks.  The longer the forks the more drastic the rake.  And one of the bad things about choppers with long front forks is that they are very difficult to control at low speeds, and they have the turning radius of a cruise ship.  Any time you increase the overall length of anything with wheels, you're going to increase the turning radius.

Next, there's the lack of both a front fender and front brakes.  The lack of a front fender means that if you have to drive on a wet road or ride in the rain, all of that dirty water from the road is gonna get thrown straight back at you, and trust me when I tell you that really sucks.   And the lack of a front brake is, in my humble opinion, nothing short of stupid.  70% of a motorcycle's stopping power is in the front brake, so why would you NOT have brakes on the front wheel?  

Then there's the ape hanger handlebars.  The higher the bars the harder it is to control the bike, and the faster your arms will go numb from lack of circulation.  And one of the factors in this bike that makes it worse is the distance from the seat to the bars - it's a long way, and in the picture you can see how Peter Fonda's arms are stretched almost all the way out due to this factor.  

Last but not least, this bike is a rigid frame bike, which means there are NO shock absorbers on the bike anywhere.  What that means is that you will feel every little crack, bump, and hole in the road that you encounter, and you'll feel them up your spine all the way up to the base of your neck.  Ride a rigid frame bike for a few hours and I guarantee you that the next morning your back is going to be so sore you won't be able to move.  This is why most bikers from the '60s who rode rigid frame bikes now have back problems so bad they can hardly walk, much less ride a bike.   

But all of that aside, you have to admit that the "Captain America" bike is one gorgeous piece of machinery and is easily the most recognizable and iconic motorcycle ever made.  Would I ride it if given the chance?  Sure, just to be able to say I did.  But it would be a short ride, I can guarantee you that!

Unfortunately that will never happen, because both bikes in the movie disappeared after filming was complete, and to this day no one knows what happened to them.  

But at least we have pictures!

Deo Vindice 

IHC